About my twitter account

August 3, 2010 Leave a comment

I’ve recently decided to make my tweets private. Sorry for the inconvenience. You can follow me though, @jeansandpolo . I’ve realized there is a good reason some people do that. I like to see who’s reading my tweets. Why wouldn’t someone follow me but still want to read my tweets? Good question. So maybe after awhile I’ll make them public again, but for now, let’s see how it goes.

Oh, and don’t worry, I will eventually get back to writing a nice thoughtful blog again.  Just been very busy and a little stressed lately.  When I have a moment to breathe, I will have some great ideas, and then I will write them down. Until then, I do have little ideas, and I always tweet them, just as I think of them. So…

Follow me!

Are you hyperactive, or are you lethargic? Both can be annoying.

Today I was thinking about how there’s 2 types of people, in the realm of energy use. There are those susceptible to hyperactivity and those susceptible to lethargy. One is not better than the other, they’re just different, and can live together just fine. For example, my husband and I.
Some people are sensitive to caffeine, it makes them hyper, or awake all night. Others seem to be immune to it, like me. Some people can take benadryl and not know the difference, others like me, will be out for 12 hours on a kid’s dose, even ibuprofen will put me to sleep sometimes.
What caffeine, energy drinks, and other things like that do, is feed my brain. I can be sitting at a dance party drinking an energy drink and be perfectly mellow. But I’ll be euphoric, pondering the wonders of the universe.
Those prone to hyperactivity, I think their brain works better when they are moving. My husband cannot resist an outburst of “WOOT!” when I play my trance music, which I can meditate to. Imagine what happens there… He can be a little jarring, but that’s what keeps me awake. It’s zen.

Some days you’ll see me sittin back in a chair somewhere in the sun with my dark sunglasses on, and you’re thinking I must think I’m so cool. Well, sometimes, but most of the time I’m thinking, why can’t I get my butt in gear? I think, people who have that totally mellow coolness, don’t even think they’re cool. I bet they’re just tired and grouchy.

There is one mystery though. Caffeine is known to calm people with ADHD. I wonder why!

Another bright idea about reality… Humor me!

I’m going to skip the boring “what I’ve been up to since the last post” stuff about daily life. There’s enough of that floating around people’s blogs.

I checked my Fnord app, and my message from the Bermuda Triangle says “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic.”

Okay enough nonsense.  Everything is reality. Even that Fnord thing. Reality is not the same as truth, and truth is only relative, but it’s important to be true to yourself. There are different facets and levels to reality. There are facts. Parts of the universe we can all agree on.  That, I’ll get more into in a moment. There are abstracts. Nonsense we make up in our imagination. And there’s the rest of the universe. I’ll get more into that, also, in a moment.

In this vast universe, there is a common ground we create in order to connect with eachother. There is, if you want to take the leap of faith and believe, a whole existence we don’t experience with our physical body. What I mean is, we are first spirits, which are just pieces of God, the spirit of the universe. Stay with me, this isn’t “new age slogan nonsense”. Spirit, being the intelligence. We are our own intelligence, but connected like fingers to a hand. We have created, and continue to create, a physical plane to express ourselves. We need a brain to process our thoughts (the left brain judges and analyzes, while the right brain receives information from our own spirit – usually thought of as our heart -, the universe, or God) Then we need a body to contain the brain, then we need a “sub-universe” for our bodies to exist in. So it makes sense if you use your sense making part of the brain, which is only meant to experience that which is made up of its own material. The body is made of waves and particles, and all we experience is whatever else is made of waves and particles. So, the part you have to believe is, there is more besides waves and particles. Do you feel like all you are is your brain? Or do you feel there is more to you, a part of you that is experiencing it all? A silent observer, your very essence. Maybe a part of you that doesn’t make sense to you yourself! That is something that is not made of waves or particles. There is a whole universe of that. The intelligence, the inner workings of it all. we see eachother like fingertips would see eachother through holes in a board. we don’t see we are connected. But we feel it if we take a moment.

Time is our way of rationing the universe to our brain in pieces we can process. In other words, time is a factor of this common ground we create. The whole universe is not governed by time. So this time, is just a way of things coming in and out of existense for us to experience. The past is no longer reality. It may still be common ground to some, because we can agree on it. But it’s no longer real because we are not experiencing it anymore. Sure there can be stuff that doesn’t exist that we can still agree on. Anyway, moving to the future, That doesn’t exist yet. There are patterns. Red, blue, red, blue, -what comes next? That is another common ground we can agree on but doesn’t exist. Until it’s there it is only a figment of our imagination. The universe is solid and unchanging. But the patterns are so complex we can barely predict anything. Maybe it’s supposed to be: red, blue, red, blue, yellow, red, blue, red, blue, yellow…

So, why do we age? Why does anything age? Sure it’s time. But how is that? It’s the amount of time we spend away from the here and now. If you’re dwelling in the past, worring about the future, trying to change something you can’t change, avoiding what’s in front of you… all that is stuff that does not exist. So you are spending time on things that do not exist. So you are deteriorating during that time. Somehow objects are that way too, but I can’t explain. I have a mylar balloon that my husband got me for Valentines day. It’s in our bedroom, and it’s still up against the ceiling. We had a rare guest who saw it, and the next day it started to sink. I took off a weight and it’s back up and has stayed up. Maybe my talking about it now will cause it to deteriorate a little more but I don’t know why.

So, the fluid that keeps us moving in the here and now, is love. Love keeps things alive. It’s really true, and we are trying to show it scientifically, but that is close to impossible, since we are required to have faith. I think you need to have faith in order to love, in order to live. Faith is required to learn, and to grow.

Well that’s it for now, I have squeezed all I can from my brain!

Out of reach, out of town. Wow! (pictures)

April 13, 2010 Leave a comment

A chance cameo

Thursday, April 8th we start the trip. We decided to drive straight to Soho and check into our hotel after the “Women & Identity festival” Melvin’s mom would be at.


More friendsAnyway, there were lots of people there, and afterwards, there was a little cafe next door whose owners were so nice they stayed open for us to get together and have a little family reunion. Some we haven’t seen in years!


all of us

They even took a group picture of us!

Hotels in Soho were some 4-digit amount per night. I am not rich, but I survived the shock, and we decided to go to the Holland Motor Lodge for $105 a night.  Right on the other side of the Tunnel, no big diff, and the hotel was very nice. Right next to the Newport Mall, and close to the “Path” which was the NJ version of the Subway.

During our Subway travels, it’s so funny to hear people’s conversations.  When we got through the tunnel and arrived  back in New Jersey that night, there were a couple guys, here’s how that went: “Hey, we’re in Jersey now!” “Dude, let’s go have some beer. Huh-huh” they were talking in dumb voices and making fun of New Jersey. That was too funny.

Next day, we went to the Guggenheim Museum in NY, which was a great adventure. The whole day was an adventure, since we rode the Subway all over New York.


The subway is an interesting place...

Then we went to Central Park with a friend of ours. What a beautiful place. A strange mixture of the artificial and the natural.

Central park

Taken on the go, turned out rather nice!


Then we went to the Apple Store on 5th Avenue. Brag, Brag, Brag! And, I found the coolest cover for my phone!
Phone Cover

It's the Guggenheim!

Now, that’s the end of the pictures, but do you think this story is over? Nope. On our way out of town we stopped at another mall in New Jersey, and I got some new shoes. Then we took the Cape May – Lewes Ferry home, which was also lots of fun. Then we had 5 minutes to stop at home and feed the animals, and then go bowling with our league. We got home at about 11:00pm. Yes, my feet were SOOOO sore, from that whole trip! Then, yesterday, Monday, we went to Opening Day at the Phillies, leaving our kids with the sitter. Got home late last night too.
NOW we can finally resume our regularly scheduled programming. LOL

More about the line between reality and…

I tweeted a little while ago about this, then I realized it’s a bigger thought than just 140 characters. Or less if I want it to be retweeted.

I see time differently than I used to.  I think most people think of time as a road we travel, and if you look back you can see where you’ve been, and if you look forward you can see where you are going.

But we all know you can’t predict the future. Nor can you control it. You can only control your own feet and decide where you want to go, each step, being a desicion in itself. My view of time is the process of things coming in and out of existence. Of course, it’s not random. The decisions you make, bring you whatever that entails. But once it’s past, it’s gone. When you’re looking back, it’s into your memory, and memory is the same as imagination. Yes it is, and still the same is your ideas about the future. The only time you are getting input is right now!

And now as different as each person is, the sum of all of it is what the universe would be. But what we have in common, is the only part of it we see with our eyes, therefore would agree on. And that’s what I call consentual reality. In other words. Most of us have two eyes, one mouth, and so on. But we have different color eyes, different shaped fingers, different metabolisms, some of us are colorblind. That’s the part of reality that would not be consentual. We believe in color blindness, we understand when someone can’t see colors, but we don’t experience it. There are other parts of reality that is like that, but we are not so understanding. One person sees an angel, while the other person has never seen one before, the social world at large would say is an imagination. How do we know that? Then the person seeing the angel, instead of being joyous, is ashamed and feeling like they must be crazy. This is how part of the universe has been segregated as “paranormal”. There is nothing paranomal about it! It’s just like in sesame street, Elmo and Cookie Monster both have 2 eyes, and are furry, and are monsters. But Elmo is red and Cookie is blue.

Now here’s another twist. All of the reality we can agree on is made up in our minds, just the same as all the rest of the stuff that’s been said “it’s all in your mind!” We all know the sky is blue, that’s because that is something we all have in common. A particular wavelength has a name and we all agree on the name. But the wavelength is not a color until it enters the eyes and goes through all kinds of filters till it hits the back of the brain where you form pictures.

So, also, locality and time are also something we have created. Well, if you think of the new paradigm of “top-down causation,” we had consciousness first, and then to support the consciousness we formed a brain, then to support the brain we need a body, and senses, then to support that we need all those building blocks, and so on like a big fractal. Then, this puts God first. He is consciousness. The universe is His body. Well, that means we are indeed connected.

Somehow, all this ties in to an observation I have made, that the more you dwell on the here and now (not past or future or some other place) you live longer. Also, things you focus on grow and live longer (this includes negative things too, like fears). Oh and by the way, fear is dwelling on the future. Also it’s just your imagination, since the future hasn’t happened yet. Until then, anything is possible. Until you pour something into the cup, that open space can be for anything. Put your fears in there and that’s what you’ll end up drinking. Ick. Anyways. You get the idea. I hope.

Probably it’s what I said in the beginning, you control your steps, and if time is actually the process of things popping in and out of existence, then what you dwell on is more likely to pop up! I’m not saying you can wish for ice cream and it will magically appear in your hand. But if you wish for ice cream, and think about it enough, you will go down to the store and get some.

I think I have learned something that’s been hanging me up for years.

I don’t know if I can put it into words, because it’s fresh in my mind and it’s a concept that, well honestly I’m sure I’ve preached it to others, like a big hypocrite or something. Naw, It’s just something I’ve heard before but it’s never really penetrated until now. You’ve always heard people say “don’t let your environment control you” or something to that effect. At least I get annoyed when I see others like that. People at the ball game that get mad because you’re making too much noise, bowlers can’t bowl well because of too many distractions. Those are cases where the environment is part of the game.

Ever heard of “just too tired”? I don’t think it’s laziness. I know I’m anything but lazy, my husband is always reminding me of all I do, when I complain I haven’t accomplished everything. (He’s so great) But sometimes I do go around the house feeling like I’d like to get this done and that, but I don’t have enough energy or feel overwhelmed. Usually I’ll go get an energy drink or some coffee and then end up doing something else anyway. Right there was a perfect description! (that’s the first time I’ve been able to articulate it.)

So, what I have learned is, why couldn’t I just do it? Tired? People do all kinds of things when they’re tired, and so do I! Wake up in the middle of the night when child is sick, wake up early in the morning after a late night to get them off to school. I always say, if it’s necessary, anything is possible. So, that translates to me, that I haven’t felt it was necessary, but felt some kind of guilt or something, that I didn’t. Or something. Who knows. Anyway, it’s cognitive awareness, a growth I most value.

I think this could apply very well to people who want to get in better shape, excercise more. I’m sure the ruling barrier is “I’m too tired today.” Well, what I’ve learned is, why not do it anyway and see what happens? If you decide you don’t feel like it, then don’t. And accept it.

One thing that is depressing, and self-reinforces, is feeling guilty that you didn’t do something you’ve been meaning to do. You’re too tired to get it done. So then next day, it’s not done, your shoulders droop. Too tired to do anything again. It piles up on you like an unsorted pile of mail, 3 feet high, that is mostly junk mail you can throw away, and when you get that done, the only stuff left might be only 3 inches high. Meanwhile in your mind it’s all important. All that stupid junk mail ends up stressing you like the bills. Wow, who wants 3 feet of bills to pay? Not me! I’m going to just do things, tired or not. I’ll probably find out I’m not tired anyway. I’m not yawning, and my eyes don’t feel droopy. My arms and legs feel just fine.

1:20am and the sun is shining

April 3, 2010 1 comment

On me and my Twitter and stuff! Actually it seems like spring has arrived and I’m still high from the serotonin hit of 60’s, sunshine, and the beach. Not to mention March 31st was my birthday and I bought a hoodie that is so colorful it’s like sunshine itself! Even though I don’t like to announce my birthday or tell my age, I still love when it comes, because it always seems to be at the turning point from Winter to Spring. I think truly the reason I don’t like to announce my age is because I am trying to remain ageless. Time is different to me, and I guess it works for me. All I can say is, live in the now and you will live longer. Healthier at least! There’s never as much stress in one particular moment as you think. When you actually open your eyes and look around you notice nothing is happening that’s particularly earth-shaking. Besides, if it was, you wouldn’t be reading this, you’d be busy running for cover!
So, Happy Easter (the day Jesus rose from the dead! The first proof of life after death!) hope you can get a little sunshine too!

Sorry guys. Had to delete the most popular post.

March 31, 2010 Leave a comment

Isn’t that the way, the most interesting piece of information is not supposed to be shared. Well, most interesting means a whole 11 views. Not that many. I’m sure in the future there will be much more popular pages about my other passions. In case you didn’t know and was curious, I was just spilling my guts about my family and my fears of it being destroyed. No worries though. With God on our side, who can be against us? Well… Anyway. Next post will be something not about family. How about it’s my birthday today? Nothing special. I’ll be more upbeat next time too. 😉

Categories: Recently Added Tags: , ,

Cat Food: You’ll be surprised to know what’s best/worst!

March 30, 2010 Leave a comment

I give my kitties those 3 oz cans of food, like most people think of Fancy Feast. I like to give them a wide variety. Well, I’ve just decided to look at the ingredients.  This isn’t like other people’s examinations of ingredients.  I know meat by-products sound gross, but they are still nutritious! What’s bad is pure starches, sugars, and fillers like Guar Gum and Gluten. What I mean by bad is, they are just fillers, and have no nutrition value. Sugars are not too good either, it just makes the food taste good and makes them hyper.  Therefore giving you the false idea “it tastes good AND is healthy!” Wrong.

Anyway I developed a system to judge the healthiness of my kitties’ food. I looked at the ingredients of ALL of the ones I have (about 50 different kinds). Even certain flavors are different.

Here is my system.  I looked for ingredients like Guar Gum, Corn Starch, and Wheat Gluten, then counted how many ingredients there are before it. (And I ignored water). So for example, if it goes, Chicken broth, chicken, guar gum… then it gets a 3. So here you go:

Here are the brands I checked, starting with the best, ending with the worst.

  • Halo – Spot’s Stew 12-14
  • Wellness 12-13
  • Iams 10-14
  • Innova 13
  • Natural Choice 11
  • Dick van Patten’s Natural Balance 9
  • California Natural 9
  • Max Cat 8-9
  • Merrick Five Star Gourmet 8-9
  • Taste of the Wild 8
  • Wellness (Kitten) 8
  • Science Diet 5-8
  • Max Cat 5-7
  • Fancy Feast (the original kind) 6
  • By Nature Goldleaf Selects (3.5oz plastic container) 5
  • Wellness Healthy Indulgence foil pouch 5
  • Blue Healthy Gourmet 5
  • Fancy Feast Grilled 4
  • Fancy Feast Medleys (blue can) 7 varieties all 3
  • Fancy Feast Appetizers (2oz plastic container) 2
  • Friskies Seared Filets foil pouch 2

This means Wheat Gluten was the second ingredient in Friskies, and Guar Gum was the second ingredient in the Fancy Feast Appetizers.

However, my system isn’t perfect. Because the Appetizers have only a total of 6 ingredients, which may be different than one with 14. Those at the top, like Halo Spot’s Stew, I truly do like because the ingredients are all different kinds of meat and vegetables, even some fruit. and one of them, I actually didn’t find any gum, starch, or gluten (that was the wholesome turkey recipe).

I didn’t get any Beneful, because I already know the dry dog food is high in corn syrup. And by the way, if your dog is hyper, that could be why. Try something like Innova and you’ll see the difference!

All of the above I got at Concord Pets, just so you know they aren’t as rare as they sound. But as you can see, think again about Fancy Feast! Well, look at the ingredients and compare them yourself!

How can loving people make others angry?

March 30, 2010 Leave a comment

This is a very interesting thing I’ve been thinking about. Some of the greatest most loving people can have so many enemies, but why? The first person I think about in this situation is Jesus.  He was crucified, and there seemed to be no logical reason for it (of course we know now it was to save mankind from certain condemnation but that wasn’t their reason then). Also in the Bible, there was Joseph and his coat of many colors.  His brothers hated him and were jealous, but he only loved them, and even forgave them when he was a king. More recently, Martin Luthor King, Jr. was a good example. Currently, the thing that inspired this thought was us, Melvin and I.  It may be boastful of me to say it about myself, but I consider myself very loving. I am ever forgiving, patient, I never stay angry and usually forget if someone ever hurts my feelings. (Unless it has to do with my children) Speaking of my children, I am very protective, and err on the side of spoiling them. Same thing goes with my husband.  He is very protective of me and our family, even is willing to risk his reputation (which is a big one) to help my oldest daughter who is not his and she only hates him. 

So anyway, we have never harmed anyone, never committed a crime, never a burden on anyone as far as I can tell.  The worst thing we do is never seem to pay our bills on time. Yet, we are having a big fight with the state, why? To protect our family, and keep it intact.  Individually they would never say they are trying to harm our family, or that they want to tear it apart. It comes out like, “I don’t care about the parents, whatever issues they may have, I only care about the children.” I’m sure they don’t think past that, what that would mean. They just think they know best. After all they are professionals. They would take the child out of the home for speculation of abuse, yet, regardless, it would be harder on the child than leaving them alone. As an aside, it would probably be more effective to take the “abuser” out of the home instead.

Anyway, I got a little off the subject. Here is why I think such loving people can make others so angry. I will use an example, someone once conducted a study, where they gave two neighbors $20 for free every day, for no reason, just as a gift, for a certain amount of time, let’s say a week.  Then suddenly the giver for no reason just gave $10 to one person and still $20 to the other. Keep in mind this is still free money, just a gift, for no particular reason. Guess what, the receiver of $10 got angry!

This happens with nice people all the time.  We are usually nice to everyone, and are told how nice we are and how they appreciate it and all that. But when we decide to put our foot down about something, they get angry, and end up looking like bullies. So anyway, this is what happens.  This is why spoiled children are so unhappy (when you’d think if they always got what they wanted they would be happy!). I don’t quite understand the inner workings of that phenomenon, but it definitely happens! The answer? Don’t allow people to bully you. Keep being nice and feel good about giving to the needy and not the greedy. Because as I said, they always end up looking like the bully. Good things happen to good people, and if anything bad happens to you for doing good, God (or karma, or whoever you see as in control of the universe) will turn it into something good, and you get back tenfold what you lost. I could give you hundreds of examples in my own life.

Okay one example: I used to have a 1979 Mustang. Nothing special, but I was SO proud of it because I always wanted a Mustang. I fixed it up and took good care of it, did a lot under the hood myself. People even wanted to buy it from me (I bought it for $500 and they offered $2000) Sometimes I think I should have taken the offer. One day my ex-boyfriend destroyed it with boulers and sledgehammer. Reduced to nothing and scrapped. I now have a 1966 Mustang in excellent condition, all original. The thing that made me realize this was God giving back to me, is that it’s the same color. Wimbleton White with a black vinyl top. My 66 even has personalized plates now too!

So there you go, another blog post from me. 🙂     Pauline

Categories: Spirituality Tags: , , , ,