I’ve recently decided to make my tweets private. Sorry for the inconvenience. You can follow me though, @jeansandpolo . I’ve realized there is a good reason some people do that. I like to see who’s reading my tweets. Why wouldn’t someone follow me but still want to read my tweets? Good question. So maybe after awhile I’ll make them public again, but for now, let’s see how it goes.
Oh, and don’t worry, I will eventually get back to writing a nice thoughtful blog again. Just been very busy and a little stressed lately. When I have a moment to breathe, I will have some great ideas, and then I will write them down. Until then, I do have little ideas, and I always tweet them, just as I think of them. So…
Today I was thinking about how there’s 2 types of people, in the realm of energy use. There are those susceptible to hyperactivity and those susceptible to lethargy. One is not better than the other, they’re just different, and can live together just fine. For example, my husband and I.
Some people are sensitive to caffeine, it makes them hyper, or awake all night. Others seem to be immune to it, like me. Some people can take benadryl and not know the difference, others like me, will be out for 12 hours on a kid’s dose, even ibuprofen will put me to sleep sometimes.
What caffeine, energy drinks, and other things like that do, is feed my brain. I can be sitting at a dance party drinking an energy drink and be perfectly mellow. But I’ll be euphoric, pondering the wonders of the universe.
Those prone to hyperactivity, I think their brain works better when they are moving. My husband cannot resist an outburst of “WOOT!” when I play my trance music, which I can meditate to. Imagine what happens there… He can be a little jarring, but that’s what keeps me awake. It’s zen.
Some days you’ll see me sittin back in a chair somewhere in the sun with my dark sunglasses on, and you’re thinking I must think I’m so cool. Well, sometimes, but most of the time I’m thinking, why can’t I get my butt in gear? I think, people who have that totally mellow coolness, don’t even think they’re cool. I bet they’re just tired and grouchy.
There is one mystery though. Caffeine is known to calm people with ADHD. I wonder why!
I’m going to skip the boring “what I’ve been up to since the last post” stuff about daily life. There’s enough of that floating around people’s blogs.
I checked my Fnord app, and my message from the Bermuda Triangle says “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you frantic.”
Okay enough nonsense. Everything is reality. Even that Fnord thing. Reality is not the same as truth, and truth is only relative, but it’s important to be true to yourself. There are different facets and levels to reality. There are facts. Parts of the universe we can all agree on. That, I’ll get more into in a moment. There are abstracts. Nonsense we make up in our imagination. And there’s the rest of the universe. I’ll get more into that, also, in a moment.
In this vast universe, there is a common ground we create in order to connect with eachother. There is, if you want to take the leap of faith and believe, a whole existence we don’t experience with our physical body. What I mean is, we are first spirits, which are just pieces of God, the spirit of the universe. Stay with me, this isn’t “new age slogan nonsense”. Spirit, being the intelligence. We are our own intelligence, but connected like fingers to a hand. We have created, and continue to create, a physical plane to express ourselves. We need a brain to process our thoughts (the left brain judges and analyzes, while the right brain receives information from our own spirit – usually thought of as our heart -, the universe, or God) Then we need a body to contain the brain, then we need a “sub-universe” for our bodies to exist in. So it makes sense if you use your sense making part of the brain, which is only meant to experience that which is made up of its own material. The body is made of waves and particles, and all we experience is whatever else is made of waves and particles. So, the part you have to believe is, there is more besides waves and particles. Do you feel like all you are is your brain? Or do you feel there is more to you, a part of you that is experiencing it all? A silent observer, your very essence. Maybe a part of you that doesn’t make sense to you yourself! That is something that is not made of waves or particles. There is a whole universe of that. The intelligence, the inner workings of it all. we see eachother like fingertips would see eachother through holes in a board. we don’t see we are connected. But we feel it if we take a moment.
Time is our way of rationing the universe to our brain in pieces we can process. In other words, time is a factor of this common ground we create. The whole universe is not governed by time. So this time, is just a way of things coming in and out of existense for us to experience. The past is no longer reality. It may still be common ground to some, because we can agree on it. But it’s no longer real because we are not experiencing it anymore. Sure there can be stuff that doesn’t exist that we can still agree on. Anyway, moving to the future, That doesn’t exist yet. There are patterns. Red, blue, red, blue, -what comes next? That is another common ground we can agree on but doesn’t exist. Until it’s there it is only a figment of our imagination. The universe is solid and unchanging. But the patterns are so complex we can barely predict anything. Maybe it’s supposed to be: red, blue, red, blue, yellow, red, blue, red, blue, yellow…
So, why do we age? Why does anything age? Sure it’s time. But how is that? It’s the amount of time we spend away from the here and now. If you’re dwelling in the past, worring about the future, trying to change something you can’t change, avoiding what’s in front of you… all that is stuff that does not exist. So you are spending time on things that do not exist. So you are deteriorating during that time. Somehow objects are that way too, but I can’t explain. I have a mylar balloon that my husband got me for Valentines day. It’s in our bedroom, and it’s still up against the ceiling. We had a rare guest who saw it, and the next day it started to sink. I took off a weight and it’s back up and has stayed up. Maybe my talking about it now will cause it to deteriorate a little more but I don’t know why.
So, the fluid that keeps us moving in the here and now, is love. Love keeps things alive. It’s really true, and we are trying to show it scientifically, but that is close to impossible, since we are required to have faith. I think you need to have faith in order to love, in order to live. Faith is required to learn, and to grow.
Well that’s it for now, I have squeezed all I can from my brain!
Thursday, April 8th we start the trip. We decided to drive straight to Soho and check into our hotel after the “Women & Identity festival” Melvin’s mom would be at.
Anyway, there were lots of people there, and afterwards, there was a little cafe next door whose owners were so nice they stayed open for us to get together and have a little family reunion. Some we haven’t seen in years!
Hotels in Soho were some 4-digit amount per night. I am not rich, but I survived the shock, and we decided to go to the Holland Motor Lodge for $105 a night. Right on the other side of the Tunnel, no big diff, and the hotel was very nice. Right next to the Newport Mall, and close to the “Path” which was the NJ version of the Subway.
During our Subway travels, it’s so funny to hear people’s conversations. When we got through the tunnel and arrived back in New Jersey that night, there were a couple guys, here’s how that went: “Hey, we’re in Jersey now!” “Dude, let’s go have some beer. Huh-huh” they were talking in dumb voices and making fun of New Jersey. That was too funny.
Next day, we went to the Guggenheim Museum in NY, which was a great adventure. The whole day was an adventure, since we rode the Subway all over New York.
Then we went to Central Park with a friend of ours. What a beautiful place. A strange mixture of the artificial and the natural.
I tweeted a little while ago about this, then I realized it’s a bigger thought than just 140 characters. Or less if I want it to be retweeted.
I see time differently than I used to. I think most people think of time as a road we travel, and if you look back you can see where you’ve been, and if you look forward you can see where you are going.
But we all know you can’t predict the future. Nor can you control it. You can only control your own feet and decide where you want to go, each step, being a desicion in itself. My view of time is the process of things coming in and out of existence. Of course, it’s not random. The decisions you make, bring you whatever that entails. But once it’s past, it’s gone. When you’re looking back, it’s into your memory, and memory is the same as imagination. Yes it is, and still the same is your ideas about the future. The only time you are getting input is right now!
And now as different as each person is, the sum of all of it is what the universe would be. But what we have in common, is the only part of it we see with our eyes, therefore would agree on. And that’s what I call consentual reality. In other words. Most of us have two eyes, one mouth, and so on. But we have different color eyes, different shaped fingers, different metabolisms, some of us are colorblind. That’s the part of reality that would not be consentual. We believe in color blindness, we understand when someone can’t see colors, but we don’t experience it. There are other parts of reality that is like that, but we are not so understanding. One person sees an angel, while the other person has never seen one before, the social world at large would say is an imagination. How do we know that? Then the person seeing the angel, instead of being joyous, is ashamed and feeling like they must be crazy. This is how part of the universe has been segregated as “paranormal”. There is nothing paranomal about it! It’s just like in sesame street, Elmo and Cookie Monster both have 2 eyes, and are furry, and are monsters. But Elmo is red and Cookie is blue.
Now here’s another twist. All of the reality we can agree on is made up in our minds, just the same as all the rest of the stuff that’s been said “it’s all in your mind!” We all know the sky is blue, that’s because that is something we all have in common. A particular wavelength has a name and we all agree on the name. But the wavelength is not a color until it enters the eyes and goes through all kinds of filters till it hits the back of the brain where you form pictures.
So, also, locality and time are also something we have created. Well, if you think of the new paradigm of “top-down causation,” we had consciousness first, and then to support the consciousness we formed a brain, then to support the brain we need a body, and senses, then to support that we need all those building blocks, and so on like a big fractal. Then, this puts God first. He is consciousness. The universe is His body. Well, that means we are indeed connected.
Somehow, all this ties in to an observation I have made, that the more you dwell on the here and now (not past or future or some other place) you live longer. Also, things you focus on grow and live longer (this includes negative things too, like fears). Oh and by the way, fear is dwelling on the future. Also it’s just your imagination, since the future hasn’t happened yet. Until then, anything is possible. Until you pour something into the cup, that open space can be for anything. Put your fears in there and that’s what you’ll end up drinking. Ick. Anyways. You get the idea. I hope.
Probably it’s what I said in the beginning, you control your steps, and if time is actually the process of things popping in and out of existence, then what you dwell on is more likely to pop up! I’m not saying you can wish for ice cream and it will magically appear in your hand. But if you wish for ice cream, and think about it enough, you will go down to the store and get some.
I don’t know if I can put it into words, because it’s fresh in my mind and it’s a concept that, well honestly I’m sure I’ve preached it to others, like a big hypocrite or something. Naw, It’s just something I’ve heard before but it’s never really penetrated until now. You’ve always heard people say “don’t let your environment control you” or something to that effect. At least I get annoyed when I see others like that. People at the ball game that get mad because you’re making too much noise, bowlers can’t bowl well because of too many distractions. Those are cases where the environment is part of the game.
Ever heard of “just too tired”? I don’t think it’s laziness. I know I’m anything but lazy, my husband is always reminding me of all I do, when I complain I haven’t accomplished everything. (He’s so great) But sometimes I do go around the house feeling like I’d like to get this done and that, but I don’t have enough energy or feel overwhelmed. Usually I’ll go get an energy drink or some coffee and then end up doing something else anyway. Right there was a perfect description! (that’s the first time I’ve been able to articulate it.)
So, what I have learned is, why couldn’t I just do it? Tired? People do all kinds of things when they’re tired, and so do I! Wake up in the middle of the night when child is sick, wake up early in the morning after a late night to get them off to school. I always say, if it’s necessary, anything is possible. So, that translates to me, that I haven’t felt it was necessary, but felt some kind of guilt or something, that I didn’t. Or something. Who knows. Anyway, it’s cognitive awareness, a growth I most value.
I think this could apply very well to people who want to get in better shape, excercise more. I’m sure the ruling barrier is “I’m too tired today.” Well, what I’ve learned is, why not do it anyway and see what happens? If you decide you don’t feel like it, then don’t. And accept it.
One thing that is depressing, and self-reinforces, is feeling guilty that you didn’t do something you’ve been meaning to do. You’re too tired to get it done. So then next day, it’s not done, your shoulders droop. Too tired to do anything again. It piles up on you like an unsorted pile of mail, 3 feet high, that is mostly junk mail you can throw away, and when you get that done, the only stuff left might be only 3 inches high. Meanwhile in your mind it’s all important. All that stupid junk mail ends up stressing you like the bills. Wow, who wants 3 feet of bills to pay? Not me! I’m going to just do things, tired or not. I’ll probably find out I’m not tired anyway. I’m not yawning, and my eyes don’t feel droopy. My arms and legs feel just fine.
On me and my Twitter and stuff! Actually it seems like spring has arrived and I’m still high from the serotonin hit of 60’s, sunshine, and the beach. Not to mention March 31st was my birthday and I bought a hoodie that is so colorful it’s like sunshine itself! Even though I don’t like to announce my birthday or tell my age, I still love when it comes, because it always seems to be at the turning point from Winter to Spring. I think truly the reason I don’t like to announce my age is because I am trying to remain ageless. Time is different to me, and I guess it works for me. All I can say is, live in the now and you will live longer. Healthier at least! There’s never as much stress in one particular moment as you think. When you actually open your eyes and look around you notice nothing is happening that’s particularly earth-shaking. Besides, if it was, you wouldn’t be reading this, you’d be busy running for cover!
So, Happy Easter (the day Jesus rose from the dead! The first proof of life after death!) hope you can get a little sunshine too!